How To Bring Up A Child?
The goal of all parents is to find an appropriate way of upbringing their children. Every family has different methods of doing this as well as results are always different. Even those families who use similar methods can’t grow up children with similar behavior and characters, because everybody is unique. If you want to know what is online classes like you should try them and ensure that our company is the best.
Of course, sometimes, result of upbringing may be different than it was expected and it may disappoint parents. However, anyway, child should be treated according to some rules or manners. That’s why it is important for every parent to know the basic methods of upbringing child. We will also single out possible results, pros, and minuses. Of course we can talk about general manner of upbringing like authoritarian or democratic however, there are also some methodologies worked out by famous pedagogues. They always invent something interesting, so profession of pedagogue will never occur in the list of the strangest professions.
Styles for bringing up a child
There are four general styles of upbringing child that exist for today. First of all we will start with them. They are authoritarian, democratic, liberal and indifferent. Let’ look at each of them
- Authoritarian style: bad or not?
First of all let’s look at authoritarian style. It may seem that it has only cons, however let’s try to analyze it. Authoritarian parents think that their child is unable of making own decisions and his desires shouldn’t be heard. So parents themselves make decisions for the child as they think would be better or worse. Using such style parents want to bring up a child, who will never disobey and would agree with everything. It is very hard to change children brought up in such style: it is much more harder than ways of solving the Rubik’s cube. The only plus that can be seen is that child will respect older people. The cons are more and should be named:
1. Aggression and unpredictability
Sometimes it happens that every influence has feedback reaction. Imagine that child has been always under pressure and the smallest misbehavior was punished. Of course, some children in such conditions, will struggle with parents. Child, who was brought up in constant punishment won’t know anything better than punish others. That’s why such children become aggressive very often. If you want to find another example of aggression, you should read about racial discrimination in America.
2. Lack of independence
Children, for whom parents have been always solving problems and making choices, would hardly ever be able to choose. As a result, such children become dependent adults, who can’t make choice and who can’t live for their own. They just incapable of doing this, because they get used that all decisions were always made by their parents.
3. Somebody’s other life
Finally, the most dangerous consequence is that such children of authoritarian style of upbringing usually don’t live their lives. They live lives of their parents, because parents just want to make their dreams come true in child. It means child’s interests and everything he does is not his own, but belongs to parents. If you want to give your tests to somebody who will do them well, the best choice is class mentor’s help with tests.
- Democratic style: constant search of balance
This style says: “Treat child as if he is equal to every adult.” It means parents should admit that child has his own interests, hobbies and character. Child is seen as personality able to make decisions and capable of admitting faults. The role of parents unlike authoritarian style is to forward child to the right pass and try to respect his choice and actions.
If in authoritarian style every misbehavior will cause punishment, in democratic style parents should discuss it with child as with adult, who is capable to analyze his actions and their consequences. There are no strict orders in such relations between child and parents, they are more like friends or equal people. However, for such style of upbringing authority of parents plays huge role. Feel free to read more about authority of parents.
Let’s look briefly at possible pros and cons. To start with cons, we can name the following:
1. Can child always make decisions?
At the early stages of life, child can’t make decisions so, anyway, parents will have to help him and push him towards definite choice. It’s not even a big minus, but just reality which parents should be ready to see.
2. Can democracy lead to rebellion?
If authority of parents is not strong enough child will misbehave. Further, it will cause to an awful result when child will misbehave parents in all and won’t treat them as a serious example of actions and behavior at all.
3. Border between authority and authoritarianism
It’s hard to find a thin border between democracy and authoritarianism. Sometimes parents just can’t control their emotions and need to let steam off, so child find himself punished. As a result, child may be puzzled by attitude towards him. Sometimes it’s hard to understand child as well as it is hard to understand men and women difference in thinking. Hope this article will help you to coop with it: http://onlineclassmentor.com/blog/how-to-understand-men-and-women.
Fortunately, pros are also can be found so let’s enumerate some of them:
1. Adequate self-esteem
First and the main plus is that child grown up in conditions of democracy, feel as equal person in society then. He has strong believes and character, he is an individual person, with own views on life. Such people always self-assured and have their own opinion, but at the same time they polite and let others to tell their point of view.
2. Ability to develop
Democracy gives right of choice and it means child can choose things that are really interesting for him. From the childhood, he will develop his hobbies and will be able to move in a certain direction, which he sees and which he likes to move. Child can always choose sport, he likes, for example. If you want to choose sport for you, this article can help you: http://onlineclassmentor.com/blog/what-sport-is-the-best-for-you.
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- Liberal style: full freedom with consequences
Liberal style is characterized by full liberty of child. He wants candy, he will receive candy, he misbehaves, parents would allow him to do it without any punishment and consequences. At the first sight, it may be good, because child has freedom and all ways for development, he feels his independence. From another point of view, child of such style of upbringing doesn’t know any rules and limitations. It means that such person can’t work in team and can’t adequately contact with groups of people, because he would like all attention to be given him. If you want to choose a university, our article about United States university California may be helpful.
- Indifferent style: abandoned child
Indifferent style means that child will be left for his own. Parents are not interested in what he is doing and in his success. Everybody makes what he wants, and nobody cares about it – this is the logo of indifferent style of upbringing. There is nothing good in it, because child feels that he is neglected and it has very dangerous influence. Later, such children can’t feel anything towards other people, they are like robots, without soul. Such children often have problems in life and often are less developed then their peers. If you want to know more about our service just look information about class mentor’s possibilities.
Now let’s name some approaches to upbringing in different countries.
1. German system of upbringing child
In Germany woman doesn’t spend the whole time with child, she continues to work. Child is given his definite area, where he can do anything he wants. Every part of child’s life is planned in details beginning with his feed ending his free time and hobbies. This is a distinctive feature of upbringing in Germany. Another one, is that a strong attention is payed to giving child his personal space and territory where child can do everything he wants, but at the other territory he should apply rules and order.
In general, German applies all types of upbringing except authoritarian. It is not allowed both in family and in schools and kindergartens.
2. French system of upbringing
In France, great attention to child’s upbringing is payed in the kindergarten. Distinctive feature of this country is those parents are interested in work, that’s why children are sent to kindergartens in early age. Talking about atmosphere in family, it is always democratic and attention is payed to cohesion. Atmosphere of each family is friendly and very calm.
3. How do Japanese bring up children?
In Japan and China, child can do everything until the age of five, then during ten years parents are mostly authoritarian and after fifteen, child is treated as adult. Is should be mentioned that children in these countries don’t feel too much care of themselves, as a result their abilities to be independent are great. Small child at the age of four or may do things which most of children in other countries can’t do, because parents do them. This independence from the early childhood is a distinctive feature of upbringing in Japan.
Of course, each country has its own features, however there is also a system, developed by a pedagogue and tutor Marie Montessori. Feel free to read more about style of upbringing developed by Marie Montessori.
There are also some other systems that should be mentioned:
1. Waldorf pedagogy
The main feature of this system is to bring up child showing your own examples. This system includes many game activities through which child receives different skills. Example of parents is the main motive force for this system. Important role is also given to tutor, whose time of upbringing alternates with time when child is left to himself.
Self-made system’s goal can be understood from its name. Its main goal is to bring up a responsible child. The main tasks are that child should understand reasons for actions he makes and possible consequences, ability to use his knowledge and experience, as well as rely only on himself while solving definite difficulties and tasks.
Of course, every system may have its advantages and disadvantages, however the most important thing for parents is to know as much about upbringing as possible and try to use this information. You shouldn’t be restricted by one system but can combine them and use your own experience. The only thing, all parents should remember that child is future and depending on how they will be brought up, they will treat you. Remember that all your actions towards child will come back to you in future.
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